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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25393153">do you wanna touch me (oh yeah)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulffles/pseuds/soulffles'>soulffles</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Villainous (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, all in all just a hefty boiling pot of porn, demencia ready for that sweet demon dick, factual evidence that proves black hat is indeed a boob man, let me know if you find the plot because god only knows where it is</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 12:40:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,230</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25393153</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulffles/pseuds/soulffles</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>There was always an ulterior motive up Demencia's sleeve when it came to visiting Black Hat in his hours of work. This time was no exception.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Black Hat &amp; Demencia (Villainous), Black Hat/Demencia (Villainous), Lizardhat</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>do you wanna touch me (oh yeah)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>shoutout to the discord whores that helped me decide demencia's booby size. absolute dolls!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>He saw her slink in, out of the corner of his good eye, and he dropped his favorite quill pen he looted from that dead body back in 1887.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Demencia, you moron. I can see you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She popped up behind him, slapping her hands on his shoulders, the ink splattering across the parchment Black Hat was writing on. They watched as it spread over his elegant handwriting— fancy cursive that Demencia could not for the </span>
  <em>
    <span>life </span>
  </em>
  <span>of her read but she still thought it was super cute of him, like how </span>
  <em>
    <span>dare</span>
  </em>
  <span>— pooling onto the floor and underneath his shoes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“These are my favorite Louboutons,” he confessed, distraught.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She broke, bearing a sly grin that suddenly made him realize why she was gamboling about his office like a street cat looking for scraps of food.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That was the single hottest thing I’ve heard all day, god. Come here, you tease.” She pulled him up by the lapels of his jacket and kicked his chair back, smooshing her lips to his, grabbing at his arms, his waist, his ass.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Absolutely under no circumstances did he want her to know that she caught him off guard once again, the crafty wench. He tried to signify this by retaliating swiftly, shoving his knee between her thighs. The eldritch revelled in the way she breathed into his mouth, his hands traveling up to seize both of her breasts, flipping the game, taking back some semblance of control that he seemed to have lost these past couple months (but don’t tell her that either).</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He ran his thumbs over her nipples, between his fingers, then squeezed the beautiful, supple, so incredibly </span>
  <em>
    <span>delectable</span>
  </em>
  <span> flesh until she made That Noise, his favorite noise. No bra today. Looks like a win for the ages.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shit. Goddamn motherfucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>shit. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Whaddya say I slip into something a little more,” she quickly released herself from Black Hat’s pussy-quivering grip for just a moment, scrambling to unzip her top, her boss and his hands being so…incredibly...distracting...</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Got it, bitch!” she howled, flinging her shirt to the ground with a certain amount of zeal that made Black Hat’s insides flip, yet he set </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> weird fucking feeling aside to thoroughly enjoy the view, her tits on full display like a stunning 34C sized knockout piece of art just waiting to be appreciated.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So he cupped them, kneaded them like his immortal fucking life depended on this woman’s boner-eliciting rack, like his only purpose in this goddamn world was to see the glorious flush of her chest or feel the frantic way she hung onto his coat, these actions being far more endearing than he could possibly say, let alone admit. He sunk low, lower, so impossibly low so he could look up at her from between her thighs, tongue running over the swell of her clothed cunt, hands still fondly attached to her knockers. She was gasping, withering, drawing out the most delicious of sounds that—</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He stopped his groping. “Wait. I never noticed how your tits...they’re...one is bigger than the other.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Demencia paused, staring blankly down at Black Hat, who was now squishing both of her boobs together, comparing the sizes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She moved, adjusting herself. “I mean, if it bothers you I can just put my shirt back on and—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No no no. That won’t be necessary.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You sure?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course. I’m a man of change. I can adapt, learn to deal.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hate to break it to ya, pal, but you’ve been ‘dealing’ with these bad boys for a hot second now so I’m—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just shut up and let me…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She gripped his shoulders again, inhaling a shaky breath when his lips wrapped around one of her breasts, and maybe that was the moment she tasted defeat. Or perhaps it was the moment </span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> tasted the divine treat that so happened to be her exquisite skin, sucking every last inch of her into his open mouth, savoring the moans she dished out like they were his last meal.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll take it that my distinguishing boob sizes don’t bother you as much as you let on,” she managed to pant out, wrapping her legs around his waist.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her boss was absolutely drunk with her voice and what it sounded like, and the fact that it was all because of him made everything so much better. But, it also made everything so much </span>
  <em>
    <span>harder</span>
  </em>
  <span>, anatomically speaking.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I would even further venture out to say that it’s done some pretty unimaginable things to me, a man of honor, a man of such high regard. You should be ashamed,” Black Hat taunted, pressing himself against Demencia’s leg to show her what she did to him. She gladly took the bait and full on grabbed him through his pants, building up a steady stroke.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shit, Dem— </span>
  <em>
    <span>oh jesus fuck, Demencia,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> was all he could choke out before her lips found his again, moving down to attack his neck, one hand fumbling with the knot of his tie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know,” he started to say, hissing with pleasure when she began pressing open-mouthed kisses down his jawline, moving to trail her tongue across the expanse of his neck. “I could have been </span>
  <em>
    <span>very </span>
  </em>
  <span>busy with that piece of paper. With that pen. I could have been writing a letter to our most reputable client, our most valued patron. And then </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> come flouncing in here, to my humble little workroom, just to shove your humpty dumplings in my face as if they were on a silver platter, ripe for the taking. ”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Were you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Was I what?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Busy.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I was making my weekly evil shopping list. But that's besides the point.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She guffawed, running her fingers along the brim of his hat, a mischievous glint flashing in her yellow eye.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So you’re saying if I were to do this,” Demencia ribbed, plunging her hand into his pants, taking his length in her nice, firm grip, rubbing her thumb over the tip as he started to moan, “you wouldn’t dig it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Black Hat was absolutely </span>
  <em>
    <span>finished</span>
  </em>
  <span> with this imbecile, KO'd beyond repair. He couldn’t take it anymore, lifting her up by the rump, growling as she picked up the pace with her hand, her deft fingers knowing exactly how to make him a bitch under his own roof.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His foot moved to find the chair she knocked over earlier, dragging it towards them so he could land his ass right back in it, bringing Demencia with him. She was straddling him, her sturdy, powerful legs planted on the floor as she started to rock back and forth on his dick, releasing a tidal wave of groans from him that she so badly wanted to bottle up and keep for later.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He brought his hands to her ass, tugging her forward so he could completely feel her wetness, her heat. “If you were to tell me 2 months ago that I’d be dry-humping my hitman in my office chair on a Tuesday afternoon, I’d throw my head back for a quick chortle before spitting acid straight onto your corneas.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And the shopping list?” his lizard inquired, her voice a deep velvety mess because at that exact moment Black Hat hit a certain spot that made her coochie go utterly </span>
  <em>
    <span>insane, </span>
  </em>
  <span>to say the least.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He sent a wicked smile her way, licking his lips. “What shopping list?”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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